Sexism and Inverted Ageism at the Ministry of Truth (A.K.A. the BBC)

The Ministry of Truth situated in Upper Regent Street has been sailing on in its stationary southerly course for many years. Its top officials are each paid more than our Great Leader and their moral compasses are so close together that they spin like a primitive electric motor. Their latest slogan for the masses is currently being drafted and at its present level in the decision making process the draft reads, ‘Old Blokes Good, Old Birds Bad’. This draft originated in the lower basement but it is yet to reach DG level on the top floor. At some point on its progress through the various floors of decision it will be lost to sight in the mists of moral confusion to those who come and go through the massive bronze doors of the foyer in an attempt to keep their contracts and earn a living.

The enemies of the people, previously known as critics, claim that the Ministry of Truth only likes blokes when they are too clever or popular to ignore and like birds only when they can dress windows. These vicious attacks on the people, the people being the Ministry of Truth and the Great Leader himself, (for there are no other people as such, and if there were, they would have little idea of what the truth might be, or had been), are continuously denounced by various spokespersons through the broadcasts of the Ministry of Truth.

The most dangerous rumour is that the Ministry of Truth should be renamed as a Corporation. That it should no longer be the property of the proles, (these used to be ‘The People’), but should become a private organisation called the BBC. This snappy title is now sarcastically being said by the enemy of the people to mean the ‘Bimbo Broadcasting Corporation’. Such calumny will not of course be tolerated and the Director of General Listening and Viewing will be looking to appoint a few more youngish blokes with accents from the acceptable, or estuarine, provinces, to redress the absence of clever women. This will cost millions of pounds but it would remove the need for such whimpish types as actors, musicians and artists who can start treading, or painting, boards again. The DG’s purchasing of more property, cookery, and reality shows could of course be maintained with its full compliment of Yummy Mummies.

The few pockets of resistance who will try to claim that such vaporised people did in fact exist will be met by an attempt to hide all back issues of the Radio Times so that the proles will be ignorant of the glorious past of arts programmes, costume dramas and variety spectaculars. The enemies of the people are already re-writing the motto in the foyer to read, ‘And nation shall speak profit unto nation and all people are equal except young birds are more equal than old ones’ and alleging that spokespersons are already being trained to claim that, ‘youth is wisdom and age is foolishness’.

With gratitude and apologies to George Orwell and his book, 1984. Essential reading for our present and future times.

Sian Bach Sion (New Contributor: will be added to the Contributors List when we find out where it has gone)