‘I expect you will be going home for the Bank Holiday weekend, Jackie?’

‘ Nice of you to ask Gordon, but with it being the bank holiday I thought I’d spend a few quiet days at my second home in the country.’
‘Now that would be, don’t tell me, in Worcestershire, the town where the main industry used to be pins and needles and where Enfield motorbikes used to be made. Isn’t it now a centre for the prison industry?’ Must go Jackie, got a U -Tube thing to do.’

Meanwhile back in Redditch, the lounge has been really well tidied up, the children are wondering if this will be the time that mummy takes them back home with her, leaving behind the verdant pastures and sun soaked valleys of what has become more of a way of life for them, rather than a holiday.

Somewhere on the M4 near Swindon, Rupert is passing the time while stuck in a tail back by raising the question of whether they should still be bothering with their hideaway second home. Once they were part of the ‘zonely’ brigade. ‘Darling, you must visit one weekend, its zonely 2 hours drive from the Hammersmith fly-over.’

‘Jocasta? I suppose we really need to keep the cottage on? What with the capital gains tax implications, the need to get the holiday lets booked up, the business rates now we let it from Easter through to November, and the continuous increases in the contents and buildings insurance? Not to mention inheritance tax. It was so much better when we could afford to leave it empty for most of the year.
‘No Rupert!, the children love our occasional weekends there and besides, if things get any worse at County and Ripoff Securities, we may really need to use it as a hideaway. Especially when the depositors and shareholders realize we’ve been having ‘bank’ holidays on them for years.
Rupert looks very depressed. ‘Well darling, we already have one home, surely that’s enough. It’s not as though we have any connection with the place or actually know anyone, let alone do things in the community. Think of all those people out there with only very tiny homes, or the few with no homes at all. There must be a way round it. Of course! Working for the community! I’ll stand for Parliament! The present old boy is retiring, going to the House of Lords for services to blustering or something. We could leave the kids in the cottage with a nanny. Things would be so much simpler.’

Jocasta’s’ eyes light up, ‘And we could sell the Putney house before values fall any lower and move in with my sister and get one of those allowance thing- a- me- jigs for the cottage. Perfect!.’

Meanwhile, in a Bed and Breakfast, in nearby Swindon, the homeless persons legislation is getting good nights sleep.

Dacier

( See my earlier item in response to Mark Thomas and his Peoples Manifesto. A slightly more detailed analysis of the second homes debate will follow shortly.)